listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
