the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize