She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my being single is dangerous.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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