You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
