Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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