I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
