she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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