Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
