how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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