Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
