I love black thongs
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
