Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
