He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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