I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
