This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
