i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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