How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize