I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm drive I can fine osifer
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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