Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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