Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
