At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
