Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
