Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
