Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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