it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
