all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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