oh god the rape fog is back!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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