the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
