I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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