ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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