My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
