did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize