i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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