Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
