just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
