ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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