I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
