I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
