i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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