I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
