Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
