i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
