do herpes really smell.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
