im drinking this country out of the recession.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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