yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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