Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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