HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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