hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
