You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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