STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
