Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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