like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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