Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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