Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
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