you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
