Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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