omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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