State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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