just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
