Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
