i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
