there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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