it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
