I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
