You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize