yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
