I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
